Setting my soul on Fire: Las Vegas 2008

Gary Clarke, 17/07/08 | Print this article

The entertainment capital of the world but is it me or them having all the fun?

The mouse isn’t responding. I keep clicking but nothing is happening. I refresh the screen, I hit help, I click on options and I try re-loading the internet. Still no budging. I bend down underneath the PC and check the internet connection. I re-start the computer and I re-attempt all of the above. God damn internet loss always happens at the worst moments. Almost 90 minutes into the satellite and now what do I do? I fumble for my phone and ring Chub. I had been talking to him earlier that evening. The first name that came into my head.

This episode made me a cheater, a menace to the online-poker society. A crime so nasty that expulsion from the site and tournament is deemed as suitable punishment. Unfortunately for me I am only human. I did what anyone else would do and that’s where it all started.

The ding ding ding of the machines slurs around the room with a deafening echo after time. Degenerate gamblers some might say, you could also call them humans. I have a reason for saying this. Sitting in the “high-limit slots” I was phony number one in the Gold Coast. Spinning the counter at $5 a pop no wonder I was getting offered limos and room upgrades. The big money payout’s seem naff and unachievable on reflection but in real time they appeared “due” and “possible”. Sticking my dollars in like all the other goons, I felt I could hit. A huge payout was on the horizon surely. It can be done and I’m going to hit the jackpot, one time. In reality it would be an all together simpler task to predict all 760 of next season’s Premiership games. Still I played on.

Then there was the craps tables. The “Go Shooter’s”. the “eight-hard way” and the “Seven Out!” were all terms I came all too accustomed to. I look back in shame but at the time I felt warm and fuzzy. I was happy. Smiling and jovial and losing a fortune. The bright light city had got me right where it wanted me. Just like the millions who came before.

For a young person, Las Vegas is a dangerous place. Littered with avenues of debauchery, even the solidest of souls fall down somewhere. The pitfalls are countless. I side-stepped many but still felt times of shame and entrapment. Don’t let the smiles fool you, this can be one disgusting place. A paradise on earth on the surface, a sea of thorns underneath. I wish I was warned before I left about the colossal discipline required, I will certainly know for the future.

The strange thing is, I would guess I’ll be back before it’s too long. Vegas is a place you must visit as a poker player. The further you progress in poker, the more you will find yourself back in this bizarre town. Hidden away in Nevada, the home of poker for so long has become a recurring retreat for many. It’s strange to think of a casino empire on the Sahara, yet Las Vegas seems oh so normal nestled away in Death Valley. I don’t think I will ever fully comprehend it.

10 days in and on the eve of my first World Series I felt like a prisoner. Locked away in a darkened room, I had found the sole place of normality, living like a recluse. The most exciting, adrenaline rushing and challenging moment of my life was around the corner yet I was left fighting a thousand battles outside of the green felt.

The reason I say it was such a challenging moment is simple. Putting $10,000 of your own money on the line to play a poker tournament takes balls for a 21 year old student. Sure, I was only spending money which had came from poker, but when you pass over them dollars you really feel it. It was time to enter the battle and the siren was being sounded. I’m not sure if I was ready for the war, but some times you just have to let fly.

As I sit in the very same room, glancing at the wires surrounding my cable modem, I wonder about what might have been. My disqualification in controversial fashion on Everest Poker has left a sour taste over the past few months. I made mistakes and they made a harsh decision. Had I never played that satellite would this Vegas adventure have ever happened? Would my life have taken a different course? I sincerely doubt Vegas was ever on the agenda. The butterfly effect in essence.

Gary Clarke can be contacted at gary.clarke@pokerireland.ie

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